Oh Holy Ramadhan…
I don’t know; whether love is making me to be so addicted, or it’s just you.
Let me tell you the simple one; I like to stare at your smile as how I can’t take my eyes off you.
Let me say; when I look at your face, I just don’t want to wash my view away from you.
Just let me explain; that whenever you look upon me, I feel serenity. It’s too deep so that I can’t illustrate it by words.
Yet…
It’s all about time.
I know, the longer I wait for the right time, the more it leaves me behind.
However…
if I’m in a hurry just to let you know that I love you, I worry you can’t uderstand it.
Too many tragedies happened back then which now have landed some wounds within my heart.
There are so many bitter memories that have turned me to feel a long trauma… I am traumatic.
By this time, I feel so confused.
By these days, I don’t know what I have to take.
When I feel I love you; here… I’m still surviving and fighting the trauma which caused of love.
When I put my heart to the wrong woman, I thought I was right, yet it killed me from the inside. And the taste of wound that I got… it feels like I’m dead.
But, as many times I said I’m dead already… in the end I’m still alive.The evidence where I feel I’m still breathing and alive is when I realized I’ve fallen in love with you.
Times when I thought I will never found another girl after losing her — in the end, I feel you.
No… you didn’t make something to lead me fall for you. I just go by myself; finding you, looking at you, and then falling for you. It sounds simple but I have no words to tell you why.
Behind of your smile or the way how you look at me; I think it’s not only that. I know I love you for one reason, but the reason is all that I can’t explain it to you.
I’m just loving you because it’s you.
Just… whenever I meet you, I am so happy. And this feeling grows by itself without I’m asking it.
You know? Some things that I’m afraid of have become real. But this time, I wish those all will not be real anymore; especially for you that I love the most.
I hope this time Allah leads me to you; helping me so that I can tell you that all I need as a man is you.
And I hope this time Allah makes you to understand; so that we can unify our feeling without any forced.
Oh Holy Ramadhan, please deliver my prayers to Allah once again; please tell Him that I love her.
Rani… please wait for some times until I’m ready to tell you that I want to live with you forever. Here, I’m doing my best.
