You
I thought I have abandoned you behind, yet… the truth is you are stil in my mind.
I thought I have already let you by — the truth is you are living in my heartbeat.
I thought I could see people based on my perception; but every time I stare at them, I see you within my eyes.
When I thought we have separated so far away… when I thought we have already closed our diary… actually, I still feel you deep inside here.
This makes me wonder; the way you stare at my eyes; the way you talk to me; and the way how you put that smile in your lips; I am the one who is still loving it — I love to see you like that.
When I look at any of girls’ face, I don’t know why my eyes give me such a view of you — your fave drawn beautifully right on my eyes.
Here… I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop abandoning you. And this time I have finally realized that actually I’m still loving you.
The afternoon has its story about us. It’s like the afternoon become a witness on how we meet and then talk to each other while our eyes keep staring right through.
You are a girl that I want to live with — you are a girl that I dream the most — you are a person whom is able to lead me feel serenity. It’s been a while since the last time I was able to sense it.
If I had a chance to change the table, I would let you see my poetry which writes a lot about you. That poetry is a witness on how much I adore you… my poetry hides a deep feeling from you; it’s my holy love.
If you are willing to feel me more — deeper — perhaps you would understand why I can’t vanish you away though you can’t answer to my feeling.
For a reason, you can’t love me as the way I do.
For a reason, you are guilt to let me know on how you feel about me.
For a reason, you have told the truth that we cannot unify our love each other.
As you have reason — I have a reason as well that my heart can’t stop sensing you cause I am still loving you.
However… I don’t want live beneath my big mistake anymore. So, even though I’m still loving you; I know I should not hope too much since it may hurt me so bad than this.
Now, all that I can do is leadimg my own to be a good man. I don’t want to dream a lot about you… I don’t want to imagine you would be my wife one day.
And though I’m still loving you, in the end I don’t know how you would feel about me. I can’t sense your heartbeat.
I want to be free and feel the tranquil feeling deep from the inside of my heart. If Allah is willing about us to be together, then it will certainly happen sooner or later.
I won’t worry anything more… no, I won’t be.
