Dead Soul

— —

I've changed
For no reason
Sorry for these
I can't barely to explain

I live to fulfil days
There’s happiness and sorrow
Those force me to feel such variety plots
Some can be understood
The others are still... I’m wondering about it

Four years I've fought
Sometimes I can reach higher
And going under at the same time,
however...

Some pain make me lose control
Can't recognize myself
Hiding the identity
Reborn to be a hater

One day
I lighted cigarette
Trying to solve any problems
All I found is nothing
Unless, the anxiety keep rising within

I designed poetry
Being a newborn and erased my regrets
All I found is failure
Leaving the empty throughout the vein

Stalking unnecessary
I became wilder than you know
I kissed the mirror of myself
Letting me to tell an underway beautiful story
As my peace

All you see is fake
When you know my name
You can't see deeper of the truth
Hiding a tears behind of smile
Because...
This is the only way that I can do

You try to seek
Trying to understand what you don't
As I told you many times
And you just still wonder
But left me scars with those sharp mouth

And you can't stop giving assumption
As if you can feel what is hidden deep here
You tell your own version just to show me that you can
Then force me to do so
Because you think we are the same

I've been changed
Sorry,
I can't make friend of my own
I betray it away

You may say anything you would to
I stand here to fight
You may blame me of my decision
But please stop acting like you understand me at all

The old wound that have been stucked
I still make some efforts to run away
And old tragic happened back days
I still try to medicate it slowly

I am not the same as you've known
Four years brought me to realize
Realizing that being a broken man
Is not that enough to talk as much as I have
I know I don't have much time to express my anxiety
While days keep going through away

So please
If you want to give a hand
Keeping in silence is a help also
Let me try
Let me through
One step away
You need to see anything that you can't barely stare at

I want to be a newborn
To create peace of my holy dreams
Fixing and making friend
I want to live with me again

Four years I’ve been torn away
Until now I can still feel my heart is beating
Never close my eyes to see brightness or darkness
These... the only way that I can take as my survival
To reborn my dead soul within

— Breaking Reza