Being Obsessed
If I had a chance to be back to the past, I would go to my childhood.
What a good time that I had during my childhood; all that in my mind was about playing and playing. I was never thinking off about love — I was never be afraid of being broken — I never worried that knowing my love story was in gloomy side.
I do still remember that the first time I turned to be obsessed with football. It was because of my cousin took me to Tugu field to play football in the afternoon. And that was my first time to be in Tugu field though actually the field is near to my house.
In Tugu field, we were the only ones who played football there. We came earlier then the adults so we were able to run as far as we wanted.
Since that, I began falling in love with football and in uncosciously I was dragged onto my cousin’s hobby. He was already be a fan of Manchester United, so I had to choose my favorite club as well. I was confused to decide it since I did not really familiar of football clubs until then we both played a Winning Eleven game in Playstation. My cousin chose Manchester United; while me was still thingking what should I choose before then I decided to chooce Real Madrid. And at the end of the day, I lost with a huge score.
However, by that time we always spent time on Sunday to play Playstation. My cousin who had more knowledge about football than me, he knew what teams are good enough beside of Manchester United such as; Ac Milan, Barcelona, Inter Milan an so forth. While me only knew Real Madrid so I always decided to play with that club.
Day by day passed by, finally for the first time I was able to defeat my cousin by the penalty shootout. Well, winning the game through penalty was like lucky, so he thought that I still did not defeat him. Yet, Finally I really won the game when I put Roberto Carlos as a striker. Since I knew Roberto Carlos had an amazing speed, so I decided to put him as forward. Every time I was attacking my cousin’s team, I would pass the ball to Roberto Carlos.
Playing Winning Eleven in Playstation brought me to be interested on Real Madrid. I always chose that club every time fighting with my cousin, and unconsciously drove me to be a fan — big fan of Real Madrid.
It was a coincidental; because of I was interested on football, it made me to learn more about this sport including finfing out any players, especially Real Madird’s players. I still remember that when I was in elementary school, I always bought football magazine. I read a lot and took a look any players in any positions — even I got Lionel Messi as my first footballer poster through it. And as I remembered, the first football match that I ever seen was Barcelona, and I watched Messi played alongside with Ronaldinho.
However, Lionel Messi is not my favorite footballer though I got his poster; my favorite football player is Iker Casillas, a legendary goalkeeper for Real Madrid — and I am still a big fan of him until this time. I did not clearly know why he became so memorable in me — all that I remembered was I just decided him as my favorite footballer at random since my cousin had already had one i.e Cristiano Ronaldo, so I just wanted to have it one in order to make our rivalry equal. In thise case, I decided Iker Casillas though I did not know who that guy was… even was still wrong in saying his name.
Well, since I read a lot football magazines and began too often watching football highlight, it made me recognized who Iker Casillas was as a goalkeeper. It was true that my first football match that I ever seen was Barcelona team, yet as days passed by, I began watching Real Madrid match and through this I realized how good Casillas was when he blocked the ball from any strikers attacked.
I still remember when my cousin and I play football in my backyard house. Every time before being at Tugu field, we always played together just to train ourselves before playing with the others. My cousin always acted as Cristiano Ronaldo, while me becoming Iker Casillas. Every time he kicked the ball, I would go to save it like Iker did in the real match. It was so much fun to have this moment by our side though we often hit the window and made my mom being annoyed — not to him but to me.
Just playing footbal in the field was not enough, so I also bought many football kits; some of those are Real Madrid. My first jersey was Real Madrid home kit season 2006/2007, and had its name on the back was Van Nistelrooy. I was so proud to have it one — and know that… the first time I bought this jersey because of my cousin had already had one.
There were so many football jerseys that I had from any clubs; Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester United AC Milan, Inter Milan, Liverpool, Chelsea and so forth. I became so obsessed and would never let myself to miss any chances whenever each club had new jersey. And because I had turned up to be so this obsessed, once I kept money about Rp.10.000 each day; the money was given by my father for me to buy some snacks at school — but I did not spend it so. When I had kept in within a week, I managed to gain about Rp.60.000. So, in the next day, I went to the store and bought a football kit. I would make sure that in two or three months, I got to have at least 2 or 4 jerseys.
Beside of being obsessed of playing football — that I would feel so depressed if I was not able to play football every afternoon — I was also being obsessed to collect any football kits. I felt so proud that I could wear a kit which I bought it by keeping the money by my own way — and even became much prouder to wear it wherever I went to.
When I recall these memories back then, I realized that when I was a kid, I could be happy in the simple way. I became the happiest one if I could spend time in the afternoon by playing football with my cousin and the other friends. I could feel the positive vibe whenever I managed to give an assist or even scoring the goal. When I play as goalkeeper, I would be so proud every time I blocked the ball to keep my goal safe; and felt like I was a superstar — a famous goalkeeper like Iker Casillas.
Well, after all, that era had passed through. It is impossible to go back to the past and be a kid who played football like a superstar. That moment has became a memory, one of the glorious one that I ever got. Unfortunately, I do not have any photos — if I had some, how I would so happy recalling those memories by looking at the pictures.
Here, what I want to say is I ever be so obsessed in loving someone and in the end, my just felt so painful. However, my obsession is like a sign… a true witness that whenever I fall to something or even to someone and then being so obsessed, it means I really love that things/person. Why I said so? Because I did everything like when I was so that obsessed of football; I bought any kits and made sure I must play football in the afternoon.
Well, obsessing someone is not the same like obsessing football. Obsessing football is for my own desire — while obsessing a girl is different; I have to make sure that my obsession will not hurt her. I will do everything when I am obsessing of football, yet I cannot do so much efforts when I feel so obsessed to a girl since sometimes she doe not like what I did to her and vice versa. In a simple way, I will say that obsessimg football is for my personal, while obsessing a girl is not only for me.
I got some terrible moments with some gilrs once I loved — I never had a chance to keep a realationship with a girl based on love. And sometimes, being too osbessed is not always good for me as some just led me to be broken. If we are talking about love, all that you find is about a sad-ending story. But if we are discussing about football, I have so many unforgettable memories to be told.
I may be fail to love a girl that I love; yet, I still know how to entertain my own, and one of those are recalling the moments when I was so obsessed of football. I am nothing about love — I am a poor man of this case. But I am something else in football scope; I was Iker Casillas back then who used hands and legs to stop any attackings that came from any forwards.
What about now? Am I still a good goalkeeper? Well, I have stopped playing football for years… since I started wearing glasses. It is hard to play football normally as what I did in the past. It is too risk if I go back to the field with the galsses on my eyes. So I stop playing football and begin doing another sport; cycling.
